Crash's brawl with Sickness

[crashmojo]

... cuts from commercials to see Crash walking backstage. Sickness walks out of the locker room, and walks up to Crash.

S: Hey, I just wanna be the first to welcome you to the TWOstars roster!

Crash grunts and carries on walking

S: Hey man wait, whats the rush?

Crash: Do I really have to explain my actions to you, get lost!

S: Hey calm down!

Crash: I have already said for some time now, that I am by no means here to make friends.

S: Ok, I understand, all I was doing was welcoming you, no need to get in a huff.

Crash is still walking, no longer listening to what Sickness has to say. Sickness stops Crash once more and starts talking.

S: Come on now, there is no need to by like that man. Calm down a bit.

Crash: You want me to calm down. YOU want ME to calm down!!! I'll tell you why I wont calm down. You don't know what I have been through in my life, what is the point of being happy and cheery. Name one good reason why I should be happy... you can't.

S: You should get your act straight. I don't care what happened in your life and neither will anyone else. You need to get a life ma..

Crash swings around with a punch straight to the skull of Sickness which knocks him to his knees. Sickness gets back up and starts punching right back at Crash. They travel down the corridor, punches going back and forth between them. Crash suddenly delivers a kick straight to the head of Sickness, which busts him wide open, yet sickness is still fighting back. Crash throws him into the wall, and then trainers and referees come down to stop Crash. He still fights until Darkstar comes to help break them up.

Cuts to a promo for the next PPV...

[JubsFromTheBlock]

Okay, it's pretty good but a few tiny things from me personally:

1) I don't get a feeling for Sickness - a huge part of these tasks is seeing you incorporating other people's characters and I think there's GREAT opportunity to use Sickness even as his "over the top, goofy crazy guy". It's a tiny thing and you might think I'm being petty but I'm going to bring it up.

2) I didn't think there was actually enough 'brawl' I would like to see a little bit more action please, just so I get a real good feel of your narration of what's going on.

3) Otherwise I thought it was good, the speech was well written and you were able to get over how nasty the attack was - well done.

Maybe give it a tiny once over, take 1) and 2) and see what you can do to change it just slightly and I'm sure you'll be onto your match in no time.

[Darkstar]

Watch some of the spelling as well. Its a tiny thing, but DC will yell at you offline.

[crashmojo]

Sorry I didn't add much into the brawl part, DC told me I could only use punches and kicks.

[JubsFromTheBlock]

Oh no, don't get me wrong - punch and kicks are the right kind of idea.

Just I'd like to see a little bit of back and forth action, rather than you just taking complete control.

[omegamale]

I think the phrase punch and kicks would really mean "don't do in ring moves".

[crashmojo]

Next time, I will take more time to look it over and will work harder on it I swear.

[omegamale]

well to be fair bar the fact you didn't "get" sickness I liked it enough to go onto the next task. And because I'm like that your match will be against Draven Cage, booking is for the new guy to hold his own and then get DQ'd by taking out DC with a chair. Please don't take out real DC with a chair!

[JubsFromTheBlock]

Yeah, that's fair enough.

Getting to know characters will come with reading the shows

I'm looking forward to your match !

[omegamale]

How's it going Crash? We're all looking forward to the match...