Scarier than a Mosad Agent

[acailler]

TG: Ladies and Gentlemen, you join me backstage outside the locker room of the Triple Crown Champion "Famous" who has agreed to a one off interview with myself tonight.

*Todd opens Famous's locker room door....*
*He sees a man sitting on a steel chair, fully cloaked with his back to the camera*

TD: Wait... That's not Famous

"E": No Todd, You're right. I am NOT Famous...Famous...That word...Famous....

*Suddenly the lights in the locker room go out, except for one single light about "E"*

"E: What does it mean to be truly... Famous? I'm certainly not famous....You weren't expecting me to be sat here tonight were you Todd?

TD:Erm...No Sir, No I wasn't

*Still with back to the camera*

"E": You've got a lot to learn about me Todd...Soon you will learn to expect me everywhere and anyway....Everywhere you look Todd, I could be right behind you...Do you know why Todd?

*Todd, Looking sweaty and nervous responds sheepishly*

TG: No...No I don't...

"E": Well Todd...Soon you will learn to expect me at anytime, anywhere, any place because I will become famous...That word again..Famous.

TG: And why is th...

*"E" Quickly shoots round and grabs Todd by the throat*

"E": I WILL BECOME FAMOUS *calms himself and releases Todd but gets right in his face* I will becomes famous...For unleashing a new HELL upon TWOstars....

*"E" knocks Todd to the ground, picks up the chair and lifts it high above his head as if he was about to hit Todd with it...He slowly drops it to the ground*

"E": Ha....Aha....Ahahhahahaha (Evil Laughter)

*"E" Walks out of the room leaving Todd in a shaken state on the floor*

END SCENE

[Megz]

Ok so to start off we don't do play script roleplaying. so when you describe your actions it's a full descritpion of what happens not a "direction". Imagine you have to write down for someone a full and accurate portrayal of a skit from a TV show or were writing a proper book.

Also Lol-famous as champ.....

[JubsFromTheBlock]

Yeah, as Omega says the big problem is stage direction/full narration.

A tiny detail, but ye' should do your best to keep the formatting the same - so TG and "E" every single time.

The actual content isn't too bad - although I feel like it could do with some editing. Again, a nice idea that just needs some revising but nothing major enough to cause me to shout at you.

Spelling and grammar, overall, is fine as well which is good to see - that's one of the biggest hurdles already passed!

If you edit it as Omega asked and I'll give it a second read and probably okay.

[Megz]

give the last XTV a read mate, stylistically you'll see the difference between the more typical RP format and the more involved style we use.