Arrival of the Fittest

[mojopogo]

The XTV theme music blares, as the camera focuses in on Todd Grisham standing backstage, awaiting the latest TWOstars arrival.......

TG: Well, folks, i stand here, for my sins, in the ladies locker room, awaiting our newest addition here, the somewhat larger than life, Alexis "Big Bang" Chang. And if im not mistaken, i think she's on her way.

A tall, muscular figure strides through the corridors, she takes in her surroundings, and notes the star status afforded to such luminaries as Lucien L Jones, Angel, and Barry Gower. She looks stern and unmoved, dressed, as normal in her black leather jacket, vest top and jeans, and carrying a leather holdall over her left shoulder. she reaches the dressing room and stands in the entrance. Looking disdainfully at a somewhat shocked Todd Grisham........

TG: Well, folks, here she is. *he composes himself, noting her looking DOWN at him*. Alexis, do you have anything to say for the millions and millions of TWOstars fans tuning in?

She walked up to him, and the size difference is immediately apparent. Taking her time, she grabs the mic.......

AC: Thanks Rob.

TG: Er.......its Todd.

AC: Whatever.

She walks around the dressing room like she owns it.

AC: You know, its good to finally be here. Cant say im impressed by the staff, but, hey, whatever. Its the competition im here for, and, well......

The screen temporarily cuts back to the arena, fans are chanting "She's on steroids", which amuses JR and Heyman greatly. Alexis is completely unaware of this......

AC: From what i've seen this place is full of two things. Gimmicks. And mimics. People who've found their "thing", and people who want to copy them. Losers. The whole lot of them. And as for the fans. Screw them. Fickle, attention deprived idiots who complain when we arent throwing ourselves through tables every night, and complain when we do, that its a "spot fest". Pfft. I dont care about you or your piss poor, tv movie life stories, im here to show the world that a woman can get by in this business without stooping to cliched mother goosery, or whoring herself out. TWOstars, The Governess is here, and you're about to be schooled in the art of pain......

She smiles self satisfied, and hands the mic back forcefully to a shell shocked Todd.......

TG: Well, people, i think if ever a statement was to be made, then that was probably it.......do you mind if i ask you a couple of questions A......er.....Miss Chang?

Alexis feigns interest, folding her arms.....

AC: Well, if you must.......

TG: Well.....its just.....well........you're not exactly like the other ladies, are you? *he flinches as he realises this may anger her*

AC: *laughing spitefully* Well, way to state the obvious, Rob. Oh, you thought, just because im a little on the.......large side i would be a grunting, slobbering fool? Pah. You're just another stepping stone, on my road to fame and fortune. Though, to be honest, it looks as though there are a few around here who need to be taught the value of a high class education, and how to conduct themselves in a manner appropriate to their position here.......

TG: *whispering* Its Todd dammit.........

AC: *scowling at Todd* Listen, i dont need to explain to you or the plebs out there what my motivations are, you'll all find out soon enough, so get the hell out of my locker room or else i'll use you as a practice dummy.........

TG: Aaaaaaand on that note, i'll hand you back to our commentary team, JR...........*he carefully backs out as Alexis sits on the bench staring a hole through him*

The cameras fade to black as we move back to our evenings proceedings.......

[Megz]

great stuff. No problems there. I'd perhaps keep it light on using the stars to describe an action and try and actually sentance it all though this promo doesn;t use them overly at all.

Next task is a brawl with Lindy Rose.

[Sparrow]

Moj asked me to feedback his promo, so I hope I am not stepping on anyone's toes my complying.

Anyway lets get going. I don't like all the full stops at the end. I mean I have done with when someone is getting interrupted and I think that is the only situation it works, when your describing something, so was not a fan of that. Capital 'I' when it is on it's own, you made two errors of that with just Todd speaking, so I would watch out for that. You described her quite like a male which I liked, the descriptions you used for her were not for a man, so that was really a nice little touch. More multiple full stops though. I don't like the stars and description right in between the sentences, it looks messy. "She's on steroids" that was funny. Too many full multiple full stops. It is putting me right off, over time you will drop the habit I think, so just trying to make that sooner by drilling it in to your head. More discretion in sentences, the good news is that it is just one or two recruiting things in your work that I am not a fan off. The writing is good and the interview was nice and got over the character really well. The character can bring a lot of new things to the Woman's division and I think that your writing shows a lot of potential. Like I said it is just one or two things that are wrong and some other little typos or mistakes but other then that it is a good first promo.

Can someone say Sparrow for trainer? I think so! ;D

[mojopogo]

Thanks Sparrow. I value you're input. I will struggle with punctuation. Being dyslexic, its a struggle to get anything to make sense, but i shall certainly cut back on the full stops, and try and rely on the spell checker a bit more.